They say that as people grow up, their habits and manners are changing. It’s because their priorities and personalities are changing. But still lucky are those who gets to make a living out of their habits or passion or talents, those who does not need to set aside what they love to feed themselves and their family. But for someone whose talent is finishing a book in a day, shipping fictional characters and most of the time wishing to be inside a fictional world, what will their life be? It’s not like someone can read all day and get paid for doing so. Maybe some reviewers are being paid for reading and writing a review of a book, but it needs to have a starting point and it is not that easy.
Finding a job that revolves around reading all day is as hard as trying to published a book by a very well known publishing company. How many times does the publisher reject J.K. Rowling before finally scoring a deal with a publisher? J.K. Rowling has been rejected too many times that it is somehow incredulous that it has been rejected because of its fame now. (I bet those who rejected her regrets that decision.) But before becoming an author, they have mundane jobs to sustain themselves. J.K. Rowling would starve to death if she does not have any job at all while looking for publishing companies, right?
Preamble aside, I have been in the point of my life where I need to be an adult and all the things that come along with it. I need to find a job to support myself and to help my family. I have been unemployed for 7 long months and it’s a rough ride I’m telling you. And because of that, I haven’t been reading in the past 5 months or so, even my reading speed has decreased. I realized that it is not just a slump, it is life getting in the way of my mind that escaping in a fictional world is not an option. During that long period of unemployment, I’ve been craving for a mind churning activity. I do not want to have an idle mind. Yes, reading would help because we all get to learn something from a book even if it is fictional. However, what I’m craving is enhancing my skills and keeping my mind active like the way it was when I was in school; cramming for deadlines, reviewing for an exam and even doing my thesis would keep your mind at work even though you would forget your lessons after the exam, still you learn how to multi-task and finish something in a time frame. Realizing all this makes me feel sad at one point, I may have unread books on my shelf but something in me craves for something that the fictional world could not provide.
Reading has become my solace for a very long time, my peace of mind after an hour or two of cramming some information inside my head. But now that I need to be practical and I need to take responsibilities, it does not mean that I am abandoning my favorite habit, it just means that it is time to lessen the fictional side of me just so I can deal with reality. My reading speed may change, my favorite genre may be overthrown by another and I may not experience those sleepless nights while finishing a book but I would always find time to read.
I have seen this coming, hence the 20 books goal in Goodreads. But as some people say, there is no such thing as “no time”, it is just a matter of finding time for something that you’re really passionate about.
I haven’t expected my rumble to be this long but I just need an outlet to lessen the burden and the sadness that I am feeling because I haven’t been reading much. If you have read this up until this point, thank you!
Till next time!
Maria ❤
A Daughter of Parchment and Paper 